In a move much anticipated by MPC watchers, developer Victor Jernigan announced today that he had purchased all the development rights in the state of Oregon.
“Well, they weren’t using them anyway,” Jernigan commented. “Not much out there but a bunch of wacky tree-huggers, so what were they going to do? Build luxury tree houses?”
Jernigan plans to immediately transfer the Oregon development rights to a 20-acre parcel of land in South Knox County.
“By combining the Oregon rights with the existing development rights, I figure I can build around 50,000 units per acre,” Jernigan said. “That’s about a million units on the entire parcel.”
He hasn’t officially named the project, but said he is leaning toward “Water Tower View.” Jernigan said each of the million units would feature the highest quality construction.
“All brick,” said Jernigan, “with options ranging from 1/4 to 3/8 baths. I’m also planning penthouse units with solar powered rocking chairs. Express elevators will run straight to the 400th floor in each of the twenty towers.”
Jernigan shrugged off skeptics who complained that it would be impossible to provide adequate sanitation for so many units on the small parcel of land.
“Don’t you think I thought this through?” Jernigan counters. “Before I ever purchased the development rights I bought KUB’s sewage treatment rights for the City County Building. I’m assured it’s the most efficient system in the county because of all the B.S. it has to process.”
Jernigan replied “not my problem” when asked how city and county officials would function with no sanitary facility. He later added that it was “a chance for PBA to earn its keep.”
If Water Tower View is successful, Jernigan plans a similar development in North Knoxville.
“I can get Mexico’s development rights dirt cheap,” he said. “I mean, have you been to Tijuana lately? The last thing anybody developed down there was a bad rash.”
Jernigan seemed unfazed by the prospect of filling a million units in a county with a population of less than 500,000.
“Hey, if I build it, they will come.”