No politics today
Tuesday, March 11, 2008 at 12:50PM No rants about local or national politicians today. Frankly, I don't have the heart for it right now.
Anyone out there either suffering from a chronic disease or have a loved one who does? I'm wondering about how you cope. My wife has rheumatoid arthritis, and right now I'm not doing nearly as well as I would like.
About 18 months ago, Becki developed a cough that refused to go away. (She doesn't smoke, never has.) For a time our family physician suspected bronchitis, and she went through a couple of rounds of antibiotics that didn't help.
A couple of months went by and she started developing pain in her wrists, fingers and knees. The cough got worse, and when she began to cough up blood we knew it was time to seek more specialized help, and we were referred to a pulmonary specialist.
A bronchoscopy followed by several MRI's over a period of about a month revealed something amiss in her lungs, but a lung biopsy would be required to get a diagnosis. Other diagnostic tests taken around this time indicated a very high "rheumatoid factor" in her blood.
The biopsy was performed in the hospital, a three day stay as it turned out. The day she came home she developed pneumonia and was out of commission for a month. Meanwhile, the pathologists were baffled by the tissue samples. We were told only that there was a significant amount of "necrotic" (dead) tissue in her lungs, especially in the lower part of her right lung.
The samples were referred to the Mayo Clinic. After several weeks they responded with a non-answer answer, saying only that the samples had the appearance of "non-organizing pneumonia" and "atypical tuberculosis." In their letter they thanked the referring physicians for sending them this "very interesting case."
The pulmonologist, Dr. Lemense, a great guy, suggested an appointment with a rheumatologist. In the interim, he prescribed a hefty dosage of prednisone. Becki was no longer coughing up blood, but the joint and muscle pains were getting worse.
We discovered that rheumatologists are few are far between in Knoxville, but we finally secured an appointment with Dr. Klipple at UT Medical Center. Several more rounds of blood tests and x-rays followed before Dr. Klipple was satisfied that Becki had rheumatoid arthritis. She started treatment with Arava and Mobic last August.
Arava is known as a "DMARD," a disease-modifying anti-rheumatic drug. Among other side effects it lowers the patient's white blood cell count, making one more prone to infections and opportunistic diseases. Mobic is what I call a supercharged version of ibuprofen, prescribed for pain. It comes with a suitcase full of side effects, including stomach and bowel problems. And, at least with Becki, it hasn't done much to control pain. Intermittent rounds of prednisone have thus far been the only successful pain-relieving therapies.
About a month ago Becki contracted flu. She missed two solid weeks of work, and since "recovering" her cough has returned, worse than ever. This morning the rheumatologist's nurse called to tell her her white blood cell count was dangerously low in her last blood test (she has to be tested monthly because of the Arava) and she needed to come in for another test ASAP.
Perhaps the most difficult thing for me has been watching this disease steal the joy from Becki's life. She's faced it all like a trooper, much better, I'm sure, than I would have handled it. She's doing her best to continue working (she's only 55), but every day is a struggle.
I become frustrated and - frankly - depressed because there seems to be so little that I can do to help her outside of making her home life as easy as I can. I've cooked a lot more meals and done a lot more housework in recent months. I try to do all the grocery shopping. But I can't do a thing to relieve her physical suffering.
Anyone else out there in a similar situation? What are your coping strategies?
Larry Van Guilder
I've received many e-mails and comments following my "No Politics Today" blog. Thanks to everyone who took time to write with suggestions. Some are RA sufferers, others have family members with RA.
The response has been uplifting. The realization that I'm not alone is worth more to me than I can express.
Thank you all.
Larry Van Guilder
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Reader Comments (48)
Every little bit helps...
For 15 years I have taken various anti-aging pills,
which I think add up to maybe a 5-10 year reduction in
where I would otherwise be at age 61, and which should
help anyone whose body is in "Repair Mode'.
These are all available without prescription;
I get mine at ImmuneSupport.com.
Joint support: Glucosamine Chondroitin and Sam-E
Metabolism: Co-Q 10 and NADH (also helps mood)
Sleep: Melatonin (Time-Release is best)
Note that nature tends to multi-purpose biochemicals:
Melatonin not only promotes sleep, but also resets the
Circadian rhythm and triggers the sleep-time processing of the day's experiences.
The others play various metabolic roles, and all,
by some strange coincidence, are produced in smaller quantities by the body as one begins to age.
Or vice-versa. :) Hope this helps.
Larry,
I'm a doc who retired due to RA and I can't agree more with the posters who urged you to get your wife on an anti-TNF drug. They are horribly expensive and I wonder if your insurance company could have something to do with her not being on one? Otherwise, I don't get it, either.
I've been on Remicade, Humira, and Enbrel. Enbrel has worked the best for me but my doc is going to switch me to Orencia (I've been resistant to switch as only the Enbrel worked for me, but I guess I do need to try something else). I got most of my joint damage in the year and a half before I could get on the Enbrel. I've also been on Arava, sulfa drugs and still take methotrexate, prednisone and mobic.So I've been around the block with this too. Sometimes it takes a lot of medication to fix this problem, but don't get discouraged. Just help her get the drugs she needs.
I have psoriatic arthritis and take Embrel, mobic, and methotrexate plus hydroxychloroquine.. I try to be as active as I can. The important thing for me is to go ahead and do what I can do...and be pleased about it. There will be bad days and then days that are almost pain-free. If your Doc does not have your wife on a folic acid supplement try it; helped me a bit. As others have said lack of sleep gets to be a problem. My rheumotolgist prescribed lorazepam (muscle relaxant/antidepressant) which helps. I take it only occasionally since it is mildly habit forming. The poster who said hot water helps with morning stiffness hit the nail on the head. A hot shower or even hot a washcloth on the joints first thing helps a great deal.
I had a problem with my fingers dislocating when I used my hands because the joints are damaged and an occupational therapist showed me different ways to do things that really helped; emotionally and physically.
Remember you and your wife are not alone in this. All the best
Recent research is accumulating evidence that cannabis therapies are effective for arthritis and the other rheumatic and degenerative hip, joint and connective tissue disorders. Since these are frequently extremely painful conditions, the ability of cannabis to combat chronic pain makes it useful for that aspect, both on its own and as an adjunct therapy that enhances the efficacy of opiod painkillers. The use of cannabis as a treatment for musclo-skeletal pain in western medicine dates to the 1700s.12-13
But cannabis has also been shown to have powerful immune-modulation and anti-inflammatory properties,14-17 indicating it may treat chronic inflammatory diseases directly. In fact, one of the earliest records of medical use of cannabis, a Chinese text dating from ca. 2000 BC, notes that cannabis “undoes rheumatism,” suggesting its anti-inflammatory effects were known even then. 18
Modern research on cannabidiol (CBD), one of the non-psychoactive components of cannabis, has found that it suppresses the immune response in mice and rats that is responsible for a disease resembling arthritis, protecting them from severe damage to their joints and markedly improving their condition.19-20
Human studies have shown cannabis to be an effective treatment for rheumatoid arthritis, one of the enumerated conditions for which many states allow legal medical use. Cannabis has a demonstrated ability to improve mobility and reduce morning stiffness and inflammation. Research has also shown that patients are able to reduce their usage of potentially harmful Non-Steroidal Anti- Inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) when using cannabis as an adjunct therapy.21-22
Medical researchers at Hebrew University in Jerusalem found in the metabolism of Cannabidiol an acid with potent anti-inflammatory action comparable to the drug indomethacin, but without the considerable gastrointestinal side effects associated with that drug. 23
Go here for more.
Google - rheumatoid arthritis marijuana
My heart goes out to the both of you. Sometimes eliminating all grains, especially wheat and corn, and all nightshades helps with the pain part. I will keep you and Becki in my prayers.
Larry,2 1/2 years ago my then 17 year old son was diagnosed with dermatomyositis- fairly rare. His main symptoms were pain and weakness. He takes steroids, and lots of other drugs. He is a music major at UH, and a joy to be with. This past fall, he began to grow weaker, and be in more pain. He had to get a handicapped parking placard. He thought he needed to give up his instrument- cello, because he was having such a hard time playing it, due to pain and weakness. He was also suffering with nausea and vomiting, and lost about 25 pounds.He was quite sick on Feb. 13- strange stuff unrelated to his disease. He had a high fever, suffered very brief blindness, and while on the way to the bathroom with my help, to throw up, collapsed. I called 911.He did not lose consciousness, and called "Mom, I'm feeling better- you can drive me to the hospital."So I did. The ER docs at St. Lukes in Houston's medical center suspected brain problems, due to the episodes of blindness. He was hospitalized for 9 days, had so many tests. Because of his disease, he's at higher than normal risk of getting cancer. It was very scary.There's much more to tell, but I've taken a lot of space already.Let me just say, through it all, he almost never complains. I do try to take any burden from him that I can, and make his siblings do his chores, to help him. They are always willing to help him.I don't know what the future holds for him.I hope and pray for a long and relatively healthy life for him. I try to help keep his spirits up when he seems a little down.He mainly jokes about his condition to his friends.He tells them he's an old man, and he sure looks like it sometimes. Today we found out he also has lupus and arthritis- "cross-over diseases".He, so far, takes it in stride.When things do get bad, I take it upon myself to call his doctor and let him know- there's usually something new to try, and most days are good ones.I thank God for good doctors, a wonderful medical center, and life-saving, pain-killing drugs.My older friends with lupus and/or arthritis swear by exercise- they say it keeps them alive and moving.My son is trying to find time in his busy day for exercise. Methotrexate has been helpful also.
I feel that we have to get through the bad days as best we can, and make the most of the good days.
Life is still sweet, and we are still happy and grateful.
I have the joint pain, but not the cough. Ask the doctor about Remicaid infusion. Needless to say I'm not a doctor, I can only suggest you ask, I don't know if it will help. I'm pretty sure Embrel has to be self injected and may have finicky storage rules, while you can go to an office and get Remicaid infustions like I do.
Best of luck to you both!
David
My mother-in-law and a work colleague of many years both battled RA. After finding the good doctor, you still need to learn as much about all this as you can, if you are so inclined. (Some people do prefer to leave it all up to the physician.) Medline Plus is a good web site to start with. This disease is much more aggressive in some people than others, and there will be flareups and partial remissions. Rough stuff indeed. Your lives will change, but much can still be made of life within some new margins.
All the best to you both.
(bloody long message -- sorry)
Larry (and Becki),
I've had rheumatoid arthritis since 1994, at which time I was 38. Mine started with pain in the neck (how ironically poetic), then rapidly progressed to hands, wrists, knees. In two months I went from a healthy man in his thirties to walking with a cane and needing help to get up from a chair. And pain, pain all the time, along with swelling joints.
My young general physician had never seen RA develop in a patient, so she was at a loss. She had me take larger and larger doses of ibuprofen, which initially helped but soon became not only dangerously high daily doses but also ineffective. Initial blood tests showed nothing, but in the third month a new test came back positive for Lupus, which terrified me -- all I'd read about Lupus indicated it has a high fatality rate over a few years, with no real cure (at least then). I knew there were telethons for Lupus, and I wanted nothing to do with anything that engenders telethons.~
A friend then suggested that I get a second opinion from a rheumatologist. On my first visit he diagnosed RA, explaining that I had all the symptoms of RA and that early RA often shows false positive for Lupus. I was very relieved, but still barely able to walk. He prescribed continuing the ibuprofen, but also prescribed prednisone (Medrol), a medium-high dosage (12mg/day) for the first few days, then tapering down to a minimal 4mg, then off altogether.
It was like a miracle. Within hours of the first dose, most of the swelling went away; within a day I was able to walk around normally again. "Amazed" and "elated" don't begin to capture what I felt.
But there was a significant downside: I was never able to taper off the Medrol altogether. I could get by on 4mg/day, sometimes 3mg/day, but every time I tried to taper off altogether, the symptoms came back. And I still had frequent pain, sometimes near-severe.
The rheumatologist later also put me on Plaquenil, an anti-malarial medicine that during WWII was found to have an unexpected side effect of slowing the progress of RA. He also prescribed hydrocodone (a codeine-based "serious" pain killer) to deal with the worst of the pain.
Corticosteroids such as Medrol and narcotic-based painkillers like hydrocodone do work, sometimes spectacularly so. Corticosteroids (based on the body's own cortisone) are the most effective anti-inflammatory agents known, and codeine-based pain-killers are the most effective general painkillers made. But they both have serious risks and side effects: Corticosteroids (-not- to be confused with anabolic steroids so infamous in sports scandals) can cause allergic reactions in some people, and they always have long-term effects such as calcium loss in the bones, leading the osteoporosis. And all narcotic painkillers have effects such as potential addiction to increasing doses and impairment of functions of the central nervous system (drowsiness, etc.). Very much double-edged swords, both of them, but they can be miracle drugs when nothing else will work.
It's now been almost 14 years, and since that initial "miracle day" that reversed almost all my symptoms, my RA has taken the typical course: it has slowly but relentlessly gotten worse. Over the years I've quit taking the Plaquenil (which was no longer having much effect) and started taking methatrexate, which in my case has proven effective at slowing progress of the RA but not stopping or reversing it.
Methatrexate, too, has its downside: Like all anti-RA meds, it depresses the immune system, making infections easier to acquire and harder to overcome. That's how I came to spend a week in the hospital and a month out of work after getting a chickenpox vaccine: Whereas most people's immune system can easily overcome the attenuated live virus of the vaccine, mine succumbed to it and I got the full-blown chickenpox, which for a middle-aged man is a very serious condition.
In fact, that's probably the single most important thing I've learned about RA treatments over the years: Everything is a trade-off. All meds that can do good can also have a significant downside, usually starting with at least partial supression of the immune system. So when you hear the drug-ad disclaimer that a drug "should be avoided by people with diminished immune systems," that includes all people who take any kind of RA meds. So you learn to be very conscientious about doing all possible to avoid infection, you avoid all live-virus vaccines (which generally means doing without the vaccine), etc.
I've also learned to be very skeptical of undocumented "cures" (which abound enormously for RA). Because in most people the severity of the symptoms naturally varies unpredictably, you have to accept that you'll have good days and bad days, good weeks and bad weeks, even good seasons and bad seasons.
And that's what opens the door to every form of quackery possible and false hopes raised by nothing more than random chance: You might take a carrot-juice-and-garlic "folk cure" in the morning and feel much better that afternoon. But that doesn't mean the carrot-and-garlic "cure" had any real effect, no more than if you'd had a bowl of red Jello in the morning and felt better that afternoon -- it was just a random occurrence, had nothing to do with the Jello.
Back when I was a science-and-technology writer I once mentioned in a monthly column that I had RA, and for weeks afterward I was flooded with an amazing number of folk/"natural"/herbal/homeopathic/etc. "cures" that were sent to me by very well-meaning people. I was very touched and very appreciative, and one could spend a lifetime chasing the endless number of claimed RA cures that people have devised over the ages.
But after reading much and thinking much about my RA, I've decided to stick to things that have at least had FDA-sanctioned double-blind medical trials.No RA medication works for everyone and all have negative side effects, but those systematically tested in real reasearch at least established that they help at least some people and there's documentation of side effects noticed. None of the RA doctors I've dealt with have ever tried to dissuade me from trying undocumented cures (though they've asked me to let them know what I'm trying and the results), but that's a choice I've made because I'm unwilling to put things in my body that no one has ever tested in a way I consider objective and verifiable. Others may make other choices and I have no issue with that. But the above is what I've chosen to do, and that's my reasoning. YMMV. :)
I can really sympathize with Becki, and I'm sure my wife (the angel who has done everything to help me through thick and thin, as she has for 32 years) would understand how you feel. It's particularly hard at the beginning, when you have to deal with the shock of painful changes and learning to accept that it's a chronic condition that has cruelly and swiftly made itself a part of your life.
But (trying not to sound trite) you also have to realize it's not the end of the world. Though there's no cure, the many treatments available today are much better than what was available even 10 or 20 years ago, and there's hope on the horizon for much more in the future. And though the onset of RA can be terrifyingly sudden (as it was for Becki and for me), once you get it under control (with whatever is found to work best for you) you'll probably find that afterward it advances very slowly, and some fortunate people find that some treatment regime -- sometimes just plain luck -- causes the RA to stop progressing or even go into remission.
You'll have to make adjustments, both now to adjust to it and more slowly over time. But life does go on. You _will_ be able to do lots of things, and you can still live a truly fulfilling life. Me, I've had to give up recreational flying (can't fly with some of the meds I now take), I no longer undertake long desert hikes (and never alone), and am continually learning ways to lighten the gear load I carry (for photography and everything else). I've also given up my dream of being an NBA center, though at 5-foot-6 and 51 years old that was probably a bit of a stretch anyway. (Aw, c'mon, indulge me in a bit of humor.~)
I hope that helps, and please feel free to be in touch if I can help with anything else. Also, my thanks to Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit for mentioning your plight -- it's given me a chance to help, even if only in sympathizing. (See, some good does come from everything: If I'd never gotten RA I wouldn't be able to sympathize :).)
All my best,
Wil in Arizona
Hi Larry,
So sorry to hear about what you and Becki are experiencing. I'm a sometimes caregiver to a family member with a similar condition, and it helps a lot to find support communities. You might take a look at Revolution Health -- they have a group support board at http://www.revolutionhealth.com/groups/rheumatoid-arthritis-support and lots of other information at http://www.revolutionhealth.com/conditions/arthritis/rheumatoid-arthritis/index. There are also a few Yahoo Groups that might be worthwhile -- http://groups.yahoo.com/search?query=rheumatoid.
I've had RA since 1986 -- it came on very quickly. Nearly all my joints hurt, several were swollen. My shoulders became so sore I couldn't raise my arms over my head. I couldn't tie a tie, had trouble flossing my teeth, etc. Getting out of bed was a struggle. I saw a rheumatologist after a couple of months of pain. He put me on an NSAID first and then gold injections. Gold takes about 6 months to begin to work. Once it started working, my symptoms disappeared. In the mid-1990s I decided my disease was in remission and stopped taking the gold. Bad decision. After a few months the symptoms returned. You can't go back on gold so my doctor prescribed methotrexate, which was effective after a couple of months. Soon after FDA approval I went on Remicade and had no symptoms. Remicade required infusion (which required sitting for several hours with a IV in my arm) so I switched to Enbrel, which I now inject in my thigh weekly. It works but not perfectly. I also take Celebrex. Enbrel, Remicade and similar drugs are very expensive. Methotrexate is cheap. I once took Arava but couldn't tolerate it. It seemed to dry me out. There are lots of choices. All have side effects. All drugs do. If what you're taking now doesn't work for you, try a different one. Competent rheumatologists know all about the choices.
There's lots of info on the disease and its treatments. Call the Arthritis Foundation and they'll send you a packet of info free. They publish a magazine, Arthritis Today, which has lots of good info. The web is chock full of info. Look out for kooks, though. I was told to eat asparagus, spinach, etc. by good, well-meaning friends. Some of these people don't know what RA is.
In my experience, the symptoms of RA can be controlled. With medication, I have lived a normal life since about a year after I first contracted the disease. I'm now 76. I'm betting you wife will find a treatment that work's for her and will return to a normal life soon.
I have a close friend who just got diagnosed with RA. I have another close friend who has Crohn’s disease. Both are inflammatory illnesses. My friend with Crohn’s was getting worse and worse, did some research on the internet and found her way to Dr. Leo Galland in NYC. He is the author of the book The Fat-Resistance Diet. The main thrust of the book is losing weight, but it’s an anti-inflammation diet rich in fruits, vegetables, fresh herbs, and spices, and the book gets into the science of why this approach works to reduce the inflammation that results in various illneses. You might want to check out this approach. Dr. Galland has a website for the book which is a slight put-off because it seems very commercial, but my no-nonsense, analytical friend is on this diet and claims that he saved her life. I'm passing this info on to you just as I passed it on to my recently diagnosed RA friend. Hope it helps.
I am sorry to hear about your struggles. My mom had RA and I am trying to avoid getting it. In light of that, I have been doing a lot of reading about alternative medical...and came across this about MS which I think would apply to RA as well
FWIW:
http://www.direct-ms.org/rogermcdougall.html
It is the story of a person who couldn't even stand....now living a normal life.
My office mate went from no quality of life to high quality on Enbrel or Embril -- I've only heard it spoken. It's expensive, but seeing the difference makes it worth considering, if it is a medication that fits your needs.
Good luck!
As I commented on my earlier post, I believe that you should give one of the anti-TNF a try, and most likely in concert with both methotrexate and an NSAID.
The current prevailing paradigm in rheumatology is to use what's called "step-down" therapy, whereby one starts out with multiple drugs and then subsequently tries to either titrate the dosage down of each individual drug or reduce the total # of different pharmaceutical agents.
As you can see from the posts, the only other physician (in addition to the other RA patients) has also concurred with potentially trying an anti-TNF agent. If you do try one I would recommend changing your DMARD to methotrexate to save costs and also because the data regarding it aren't incredibly persuasive.
My personal opinion is that Arava is overused now because it's "new" and as a result of successful marketing by the drug company...
at any rate, I wish you both the best. Take care.
I forgot to say: One thing that has helped me is changing my diet. I try to avoid all processed foods and eat only real food. I've cut out most sugars as well except for an occasional splurge day. I can't tell you the degree it has helped but since I started eating healthy over a year ago I've noticed that when I forget to take my meds the symptoms aren't as bad and that my flare up days don't flare as bad as they used to.
Sorry, Larry and Becki - no words of wisdom, just wanted to let you know that people care. I hope that one or more of the suggestions posted here help Becki and that you will keep us posted. God bless you.
I am pathologist with multiple sclerosis, so a lot of what you wrote really hit home to me.
I, too, have been guilty of writing, "thank you for this interesing case," as a courtesy to the referring pathologist and I never thought how it might sound to the patient reading the report. Perhaps I shouldn't do this in the future? I'll have to keep that in mind. Unfortunately, sometimes the tissue only 'tells' you so much. Microscopy has it's inherent limitations as a diagnostic tool.
Anyway, I'm not sure I can add anything about coping skills as my MS is, thankfully, very mild, other than to say on my worst days I just try not to think about it. Sounds stupid, I know, but I guess that's what it boils down to. I do have a lot of coping mechanisms. I have slowed down, I'm not afraid to ask for help when I need it and mostly, I just, well, I just don't think about it, if I can help it.
I'm glad others have responded, and yes, you are not alone. That's the other thing I've learned. We are more surrounded by love than sometimes we realize.
God Bless the both of you and I wish you peace. And to the others with RA or those with relatives with RA who have responded, God Bless you too!
Has your wife thought about acupuncture? Some RA sufferers have had great success with it. There's little downside, and it's not exclusive of any medical treatment.
Good luck and take heart - they have had tremendous strides in treating RA. My wife has suffered from it for close to 15 years but has had great improvement over the last few years with the new drugs.
Hi Larry!
I have lupus, a "cousin" of RA - another under the umbrella of auto-immune diseases. I've been on immune suppressant drugs since 1990. I've gone through various phases of denial - especially when I start to feel better.
I could write forever about this, the coping, the feelings, the strategies for getting through a day, an event such as a wedding, a funeral, etc. But I'll just give a few things I've learned.
First, educate yourself - both of you. This will not go away, but it can be managed. Check out the arthritis foundation websites - and there are some good groups/forums at places such as yahoo where you can find people who have tried all sorts of things, done well, or not.
Second, start entertaining the idea of maybe it's time for a lifestyle change. Stress, especially emotional stress, brings on flare-ups. Yep, hard to avoid stress completely (darn it!), but if her job is especially stressful, maybe it's time to think of something else she might enjoy doing. Do you live in a big house? Are there still children at home? Have you thought about down-sizing?
Third -- prednisone helped me with my joint pain. But don't negate the idea of keeping some vicodin around the house. Constant pain is stressful. Your rheumatologist might be resistant to pain meds (for some reason they tend to be ... I haven't quite figured out why just yet), so it's a good idea to maintain/keep/create a good relationship with your GP or Internist. Mine is pretty good about giving me some vicodin maybe twice a year (30 pills), which I will take 1/2 of one when I have bad flare-ups. I also have a few sleeping pills on hand that I take a couple of times a month. Good sleep is essential (I'll soon be 59 ... seems good sleep starts being elusive at our age). Just remind the doc that intense pain will lead to flare-up, that this mega ibuprofen stuff is b.s.!!!
Regarding food -- I've recently learned that many of my symptoms can be really controlled by avoiding certain foods -- I saw where someone mentioned nightshades. This is worth looking into. I had some tests run by my chiropractor where they do tests on your blood to see if you have digestive reactions to them. Once I started to avoid those foods, or at least ate them less frequently (eggs is one of them ... I love eggs!), my problems have lessened.
If you are helping with housework, and cooking, gosh.....can I borrow you????? You're being wonderfully supportive! Give yourself a break -- you are coping with a life-changing situation - it's hard!
Gosh, I've probably overwhelmed you. I do know from my perspective that I felt for a long time I was a burden because I could not be consistently counted upon because I had no idea how I'd feel from one day to the next. Now that I'm older, I realize I'm not getting any younger and I have stopped the leanings towards self pity.
But I would suggest she take some time off, if she could. Give her body a chance to balance out a bit more. Sounds like she's trying to go back to work full time too fast.
Dede
I remember twenty years ago, gathering together at least once a week with my friends at the “Office”, oh wait a minute…that was the name we were planning to give “our” place. Our meetings were the medicine that washed away the stresses of our real office; and helped to solve the problems in our work lives, our personal lives and those of the world. We had an expert among us, knew every little detail about history, knew every word to every song and wrote many of his own just for our entertainment.
Along came this bubbly girl who joined our group and gave our expert a run for his money. She could hold her own in many of the lively conversations, and charmed our expert by adding a romantic twist to the stories, surprising him with her unexpected and amusing insight. All of us watched and delighted in the romance we saw blooming in our midst. The perfect couple had found each other, and Larry and Becki naturally fell in love.
The wonderful thing about love is that no matter how we age and how our bodies betray us, you always see the wonderful person you fell in love with. Friendship has the same way of keeping the inner soul in your eyes.
I am very sorry for Becki, and I can only imagine what pain it must be for you too, Larry. To helplessly watch someone you love in pain is heart wrenching. I truly hope you find the right medicine and things get better for Becki. Your old UC buddy, Bobbie Brown
Please go to www.mercola.com and enter "rheumtoid arthritis" in the search engine there. Read all of Dr. Mercola's articles on RA and its treatments. You may then want to make an appointment to visit his Optimal Wellness Center in suburban Chicago for treatment. Good luck.